Often, when I feel unwanted, I paint. And I tend to paint places in my backcountry travels only a few have seen. I like those places. They ground me in Nature which is real. And right now in our lives, we need real.
I would think at some point in anyone’s life, they may have felt unwanted. Whether it is the child who suffered a verbal scolding, a teen lost in the world of acceptance, a marginalized person sitting alone at the end of a bar nursing the third martini, or someone in an abusive relationship, all foreshadow a sentiment of confusion and unworthiness. Getting oneself out of the miserable muck is not easy. Which is why I wrote “The Unwanted.”
After witnessing hardships in people through a career in mental health and addictions, I fell into the world of food service during my retirement. In an instant, I was befuddled by the treatment of people striving to make a living while preparing, serving, or cleaning in a restaurant setting. Now, a high percentage of encounters are civil, friendly, and evoke warm relationships. On the other hand, there has been a growing list of casualties from the service industries, including police, fire, hospitals, hotels, and just about any group that is serving at the pleasure of the public. Why?
In the first of the Frank Flannigan Mysteries, “Moving Tables,” there are true scenarios where servers are driven to tears by their patrons. In “Jesus Walked Down My Alley,” the scourge of incivility follows a young man on his quest to bring people together – all while he works as a dishwasher. In “The Unwanted,” the symbolism is manifested in people you may find successful. Yet, scars run deep, and making a life along a skewed pathway that may have deviated from its original course is not always easy. And for various reasons, there are people who want to throw that back in your face.
In all of these books, there is suspense, intrigue, and humor. The best part? They all end in positive change. Delving into “The Unwanted,” you will find characters ensconced in a period of time where choices seem poor or limited, but once insight has been gained, there are choices to be made. There is always recovery. As for the “ugly” patrons and public many of us have had the pleasure to experience, I have surmised that they, too, have felt unwanted or unworthy. Except their choice is to belittle others to engross their own ego. Sad.
In full disclosure – although most everyone knows my story – writing was my choice to enter a new world of insightful recovery. “The Unwanted” feels like a capstone in my journey. So much was created in fiction, and then, much to my amazement, turned into reality as the manuscript progressed. In fact, this blog is being written in my new studio while I listen to Chet Baker and wear my writing sweater and fedora, which I use as a thematic prop for penning mysteries. I made a choice to change my life, and I chose to enjoy my life. I am thankful for my life. I am grateful for the people in my life. While there are days I struggle to feel wanted, I understand I am not perfect. But I am perfectly human.
If what I have written resonates with you, simply wake up, put your feet on the floor, choose to make a new day, and choose to feel life. Choose to experience life in a positive way.
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