Wednesday was a day of small chores I found waiting for me, as I spent April 15th wandering around house and garage looking for something to do. Something to get done. Outside, the temperature hovered in the low thirty’s but sunny skies tended to brighten my mood, especially as I watched the return of the goldfinch to the birdfeeders. The upstairs commode has had a seat issue that was growing worse since its installation in 2016. I decided, what the hell, toilet seats are an easy fix, and I’ll make Christine happy by cleaning up the bathroom as a bonus. I began with my hex key on the seat bolts, and one was removed with ease, while the other is definitely stripped and won’t come off. So, this being an American Standard streamlined commode where the floor bolts are hidden, I have no access to the seat bolt from the bottom unless I remove the toilet. Right away, I can see this is a really bad design. I pull the one bolt, clean around the seat – scour would be a better word – and as I attempt to reseat the bolt, the entire grommet and female part of the piece falls into the abyss of the porcelain. There’s now an empty hole where I’m suppose to screw in the bolt. You gotta be kidding me? I stood back and ponder the predicament. I shrugged my shoulders and figured I’d run to Lowes, get the replacement part, and finish the job. On the way to the store, I get a text from a friend, then my brother about something going on in Lansing. Something about a line of cars and a blockade of an ER at Sparrow Hospital. I tune in the radio and sure enough, the hacks on the Conservative stations are praising the marches and drive-up demonstrations in Michigan, Kentucky, and other states. All of which are governed by Democratic governors. Interesting. Lowes doesn’t sell parts, and the salesman begins to give me a sour picture of these American Standard toilets. I head over to Ballard’s Plumbing and Heating, and Todd ventures outside to talk. He and his crew have kept our kitchen alive over the years, and I begin explaining my problem with my commode. He smiles, and shakes his head, obviously knowing where I’m headed with my turmoil. “Yeah. Those toilets…” More head shaking. I asked if my assumption of a really stupid design is true. “Yeah, we hate working on them.” We schedule a plumbing visit for the morning, and I bid Todd adieu. Before making my way back upstairs, I get a better picture of what’s going on in Lansing. I see open-carry buffs; I see lots of Trump/Pence signs; I see Nazi symbols; and then I see Confederate Flags. I hear a name on the news and I immediately connect it to the DeVos family of funding the local Republican Party. Why does this not surprise me? I then realize I’m working on an American Standard toilet of horrible design, watching an American standard of protest of horrible design, and all of it connected to a president of horrible design, as my country disembowels itself in the midst of a pandemic. Let me get this straight: People wanting to protest Governor Whitmer’s directives – which are working – need to carry Trump/Pence signs, guns, and Confederate battle flags? Am I missing something here? Then for some reason I figure a way to fix my toilet upstairs. I pop the side panel covering the poorly designed floor bolt system, wrap some duct tape around the end of a very long screwdriver, and fish out the grommet and female part of the seat bolt fixture. HA! Got it. And I can see how this thing works. I carefully piece everything back together, and tighten the bolt. The seat is back in place and working and clean. Kinda like what we’re trying to do with the world around us. I call Todd and thank him for his time and cancel the appointment. The fix was easier than I thought, and I didn’t need to grouse and bemoan the manufacturer by calling them up to bitch, hoist a Confederate battle flag symbolizing some deranged, racist freedom, nor did I need to take a shotgun and blow apart the porcelain. I made a decision staring at Confederate flags around my state capitol. I will not listen to, accept, or even try to understand people around me who protest along side of people carrying those flags. There are people in my community of Petoskey, who I know, believe this protest is a good thing. The worst part of their argument? They are on the Religious Right and are Trumpites, who believe walking with Confederate flags is okay. Walking with a flag that symbolizes hate, lynching’s, and re-writing the constitution in a way where their racist, religious, and xenophobic ideals take hold of our freedoms. I am still amazed at how symbolic my toilet was this day of April in the year 2020. I flushed it and waved goodbye to the excrement I saw on TV today.