To begin a softer New Year, I must consider the end of 2018. So, my wife believes my last post of 2018 was rather harsh and too generalizing. She wondered what would happen if close friends read the rant and reacted without a clear understanding of my motives. I’ve re-read the entry numerous times and admit to the overt generalizations. I do realize not all fit the mold I created. My apologies. That being said, my gesticulation of my long-held beliefs, stands. But, let us come into a softer New Year of 2019 with a spirit of caring and acceptance of our world, of other’s cultures and beliefs. To this I would gladly succumb and surrender my diatribe as we all learn to survive together as humans and not as “those people.”
I am sending out Thank You cards to folks from my kayak journey last summer as I enter the journal entries into this computer. In vivid detail, I am able to recall plots and points of the most dangerous times, the most fun times, and the moments of intense emotional release – which were many. I continue in an attempt to catch my breath from that trip and explore a new life at 60 still trying to throw out a past that is a past. For some reason that will not venture from my viscera. When I get to my dark times, bad decisions I made and bad decisions others made always seem to squirm to the forefront of my brain. Is that normal for everyone? Is there no way to turn the channel except for a constant log-in to a recovery mode of newness and futurism? The spiritual awakenings of my immortal water jaunt have dissipated into the vast darkness of winter and cold of the night. I have many more good days than bad, but want the entirety of wonderment. I need a new beginning everyday. That should be the norm, right?